Similar to my post about the ever-so-clever fellow offering a literary agent a 50% commission deal via Craigslist (and setting himself up for scammers), I've been boggling over the recent rash of Craigslist posts seeking a literary agent. I even saw one hokey-looking agency post seeking authors and screenwriters, one that screamed "scam" in flashing red lights. But this one...oh, this one does indeed take the (cheese) cake.
Female Writer Looking Agent (NYC)
Date: 2010-02-05, 12:50PM EST
Reply to: gigs-nbh2m-1587342071@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Talented, sexy up and coming Writing is Looking for a NO Bullshit Agent.
She has many short stories already written.
A novel in the works...that could easily be turned into a trilogy.
Notes for a mini soap opera for Spanish TV
As well as a draw filled with notes for other books
If your looking for a fresh, new & edgy writer then look no further
# Location: NYC
# it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
# Compensation: TBD
I'm going to sidestep the obvious problems with this "Writing's" so-called talent and put my red pen down before I end up leaving permanent marks all over my screen. I'm also going to ignore the fallacy in looking for an agent on Craigslist; I've covered that already. Instead, ponder this:
What does her gender or physical attractiveness have to do with her ability as a writer?
Gender can play a strong role in an author's platform as a woman writing about women's issues, gender issues, feminism, and any number of other subjects where the perspective of a strong female writer is a selling point (there are entire shelves in bookstores reserved for these kinds of books).
But somehow I get the feeling this isn't what our illustrious Craigslister intends.
This young lady, fresh and edgy up-and-comer that she is, wants to sell herself on sex appeal.
Not on the strength of her writing, not on the value of her story, but on being young, sexy, and fresh.
This is the same misguided sentiment that causes writers to include headshots with their queries, rather like the Bon Jovi look-alike who left so many agents tickled a few weeks ago. It's the same lack of understanding of the industry and lack of interest in self-educating that leads writers to post on Craigslist when they should be building a strong query letter and sending it to individual agents.
And it's the same ignorance that's going to get this poor girl disappointed when she finds out her C-cups probably won't sell her novels, short stories, or soap opera.
Now, I won't pretend that some agents and publishers wouldn't use an author's sex appeal to sell books. But frankly that's a bonus, sprinkles on the cupcake that an agent or publisher might use if it's there, but won't care about when making decisions about a book's value. The only things that will matter are the words on the page. Not that Roman nose or mile-long eyelashes; not the tight ass or the legs that go on forever. You can't sashay your way into a publishing contract. And you can't tell someone you're hot and talented, and have good ideas.
You have to show them your talent. (Your talent, not your cleavage.) You have to show them a finished product that makes them care about your story, and show an understanding of the industry that makes them happy to work with you as a client. Believe it or not, most people want you for your brains...not your body.
Your appearance is not a selling point. Your story is.
So write the best story you can. Write something worth selling, that will have more lasting merit than fleeting, shallow physical traits.*
...and then dear lord, child, learn to proofread. Seriously. Did you even glance at the post before you hit "submit"?
*You know, I'd do the nice thing and contact her, give her a little gentle nudge towards AgentQuery and AbsoluteWrite and many other wonderful sites that explain the proper way to obtain an agent, but I've found more than once that it tends to bite me in the ass.
